Knowing

I've always loved this poem.... For some odd reason, it comes to mind as my mother-in-law struggles today for her life.

She's having emergency heart surgery this morning. No one is sure she'll survive it, but it's necessary. Ron talked to her last night. She sounded strong, confident... even casual. Said she can't she can't wait to see him on Sunday, and hopes she's home by then.

But she knows. Please say a prayer for her.

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manner of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

-- British poet John Donne (1572 - 1631)

Remembering Romans 8:28

Ron's aunt made that dreaded phone call to him tonight. It's time to visit his mother, Beverly, perhaps to lift her spirits.

And perhaps to say good-bye.

She's been in the hospital for 10 days now with pneumonia and related complications. Things were looking slightly better over the weekend, but she had a setback today, and is in intensive care tonight.

The doctors are worried about her heart. Her poor, frail body is exhausted. We all know how truly tired she is....

But it's hard to believe. And Ron's father can't seem to grasp the realities of her illness. He's still making plans to bring her home soon. They've been married for 55 years, and he knows no life without her. She's been his sun and his moon and his guiding star.

God, please grant Ron and me the wisdom to know how to be present for his mother, and how to help his father.

And for us to remember that in all things, you work for the good of those who love you.

Prayer Request for Beverly

Ron's 77-year-old mother, Beverly, is quite ill with pneumonia. She had part of a lung removed last year, and has grown considerably frailer since then. We can't remember the last time she felt well.

Please say a small prayer for her recovery, or at least for her to be strong enough to return home. She's now been in the hospital for six days, and badly wants to leave.

She's tired of the hospital, tired of IVs, and tired of the hospital schedule. Our fear is that she's just very, very deep-down tired.....

Finally Taking the Road Less Traveled

I'm not missing.......just busy.

Been working almost fulltime on my gig as About.com's Guide to US Liberals, and I've also been temp blogging for About.com's Diabetes site. My income there is growing, which is a positive for my family. But I do it for the passion much more than for the income.

As I write this, I'm part of a conference call with Al Gore , and listening to Mr. Gore talking (at this moment) about global warming and the Kyoto Protocol Accords. (He's talking from his home in Nashville.)

We were at a graduation party this afternoon, and we left a few minutes early so I could participate in this Sunday afternoon call.

I've had several successful careers, but I always ultimately ended or limited them, believing that they interfered with my family life, and especially parenting. It's a woman thing. Men don't do that much. I did it out of choice, and without regret.

I think about the roads not taken, though. And I wonder: If I had invested more time and effort, where would those roads have taken me?

Please don't get me wrong.....I have more blessings than one could ever wish for: a loving husband, great children, an adorable granddaughter, caring friends, health and a strong walk with God. And a good doctor, a wonderful church led by two exceptional men of God, and a life full of laughter, books and warmth.

God has gifted mewith another chance, however, to make my mark. To make a difference. And He has his reasons, I suppose. For the past 18 months, I've again limited my work under guise of family needs. And that's partially true.....but I wonder. Am I lazy? Afraid of success? Resistant to changing status quo? Too comfortable?

I blew off attending a three-day conference this weekend in Las Vegas, at which I was supposed to listen to and mingle with the likes of Howard Dean, New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid and US Senator Barbara Boxer of California.
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As I sit here, listening to Al Gore, I just had an epiphany.....I'm going to take this professional opportunity the full ten yards. I'm glad we came home early from this afternoon's party. My interests and passions are important, too.

Andrea is in high school, and our other children are responsible adults. Ron works fulltime. This is my time. Finally. And I'm not afraid of success.

God has graciously offered me a rare chance to speak out and be heard. And He's clearly provided the unique and complex path to this point. (The path to here has been incredible, thusfar, to the point of defying coincidence.)

I will take myself seriously. I am not afraid of success. I will follow and trust God's leading. And I will not blow-off any more essential, contact-rich three-day conferences.

To paraphrase my favorite poem, this time around, I will take the road less traveled by, and I have faith that my choice will make all the difference.