tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post113156923159886785..comments2023-07-22T07:01:50.066-07:00Comments on Golden State Woman: Musings and a Question on Changing ChurchesDeborah Whitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07681456264047358861noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-64495728672597916462008-03-13T09:57:00.000-07:002008-03-13T09:57:00.000-07:00A fascinating piece. I am 63, and found myself at...A fascinating piece. I am 63, and found myself at Home in the Catholic church after much reading - and frankly after our son became Catholic! This was after a lifetime of being evangelical and going to every church type, for as many years as it took to make some dear friends but realize there was no growth... and our hearts were so hungry!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-53563769696466654982006-12-20T06:30:00.000-08:002006-12-20T06:30:00.000-08:00Thank you for being honest. I think God gave us th...Thank you for being honest. I think God gave us the gifts of emotions and they help to guide us. Your honesty about your experiences is much appreciated.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-1162797215151782592006-11-05T23:13:00.000-08:002006-11-05T23:13:00.000-08:00Wow, everything you said was hitting home with me....Wow, everything you said was hitting home with me. I am personally in that process rigt now. Unfortunately my husband isn't. It is one of those divided issues with us and I pray he comes around soon. I have expereinced a variety of church venues from conservative to very charismatic. I grew up Baptist, and can relate to the judgement issues. But right now I am just feeling this emptiness with where we currently are attending - I also agree that the mega churches are becoming more like businesses than churches. God wants so much more. I wonder how common of a problem this is that you have brought up? I believe that it is a time when the church is being redefined - but to whose standards? The world's or God's?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-1159314087972568492006-09-26T16:41:00.000-07:002006-09-26T16:41:00.000-07:00we are in the painful process of letting people kn...we are in the painful process of letting people know we are going to leave the church we are attending. when you mentioned the candy coating around a center of air...wow, i totally get that! however our church is small about 200 people...so it can happen in any environment! i hear where you are coming from, its great that you can be so open about it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-1156730194776483922006-08-27T18:56:00.000-07:002006-08-27T18:56:00.000-07:00I appreciate your thoughts, which echo my own, as ...I appreciate your thoughts, which echo my own, as I leave a church I thought I would be committed to for many many years. I'm betting that you've been praying the whole time - and that God will show you your place. I like the dating analogy - because joining a church is a commitment, and needs to be taken seriously. So, dating first, and taking time to be sure, makes sense.<BR/>My own plan is to attend one church's services (church A) on a regular basis, because they meet on Saturday nights, while I go to Sunday morning services at other churches. I hope church A works out without the need for much looking around, but that remains to be seen.<BR/>Best wishes with your search.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-1154929174738824392006-08-06T22:39:00.000-07:002006-08-06T22:39:00.000-07:00I don't see any mentioning of prayer in your writi...I don't see any mentioning of prayer in your writing. Did you ever pray to God about which church you should go to? It takes more than one simple prayer. You don't choose to go to which church without asking God first! You don't just go with your needs or feelings. This is not shopping!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-1153621761840612722006-07-22T19:29:00.000-07:002006-07-22T19:29:00.000-07:00I enjoyed your piece immensely. It is comforting t...I enjoyed your piece immensely. It is comforting to know that I'm not alone in my dissatisfaction with churches!<BR/>I don't currently attend a "megachurch", but I have in the past, and for that time, it met my needs. Later, I decided that I wanted to go past just being anonymous....I wanted the minister to know me by name. I wanted to know who was a visitor and who was a member. I wanted to be known.<BR/><BR/>I found another church where I felt strongly called to. After about 9 months of attending, I officially joined the church. I've been a member for almost two years.<BR/><BR/>Now I feel like I am reaching a new point. I realize that I'm not connecting with anyone there. They are friendly, warm, and genuine, but there is virtually no one there my age (I'm 23), and there is no one that I talk with outside of services. Twice in the past two months, I have heard sermons at this church on the importance of having Christian friends. Both times there was no solution to the dilemma of not having Christian friends beyond just praying and "asking" God to bring those people into your life. And both times that I have heard such messages, I have left the church in tears, realizing that I have very, very few Christian friends, or rather, friends in general.<BR/><BR/>What makes this more complicated is that I am in a leadership (unpaid, volunteer) role. I am beginning to resent giving and not getting. I understand that service is crucial, but you can't give to others if you're running on empty.<BR/><BR/>So thanks for sharing your thoughts with the world. God bless you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-1134628199996619852005-12-14T22:29:00.000-08:002005-12-14T22:29:00.000-08:00And I feel your frustration, too....and fully unde...And I feel your frustration, too....and fully understand it.<BR/> <BR/>So many churches these days have turned into businesses with marketing campaigns, lots of bureaucratic staff and flashy campuses.....not places to worship God, study the Bible, help others in need and meet others in the neighborhood who want to do the same. <BR/><BR/>THANK YOU for your comment!Deborah Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07681456264047358861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-1134617227697383212005-12-14T19:27:00.000-08:002005-12-14T19:27:00.000-08:00THANK YOU for this post. We are leaving a church ...THANK YOU for this post. We are leaving a church we have been active in for 10 years - - We dared to question a capital campaign, with a promotional campaign that is complete with everything you would see from a bank advertising program!! (even free tshirts...)<BR/><BR/>They pastor decided to spend $10K on fundraising... And the money is for a building, when we do not fully utilize the building we have now. "We need a bigger building to do God's work." Bull - we "need a bigger building" so that we can have a bigger building than the church across town...<BR/><BR/>AND... We are also looking for a vibrant, serious BIBLE STUDY for our teens. Imagine that - teens who WANT to study the Bible, not flirt, play games... phooey on that... <BR/><BR/>Anyway, I feel your frustration!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-1131991492683443862005-11-14T10:04:00.000-08:002005-11-14T10:04:00.000-08:00Wow...great points here that I will mull over. Tha...Wow...great points here that I will mull over. Thank you!<BR/><BR/>I have thought about this some already.....I feel guilty about suddenly skipping from church to church. I hear you. In large part, that's exactly why this all bothers me. If church was mere entertainment, this would be no dilemma.<BR/><BR/>I believe, though, that we have a fundamental difference with the theology of our church of the past four years. It's turned into a business organization, rather than a spiritual organization, with emphasis on collecting monies, erecting more buildings, maintaining the campuses it has, and expanding the employee and "product" base. <BR/><BR/>They are decidedly not interested in change, and they are definitely not interested in the ideas of anyone who is. <BR/><BR/>Every church has the right to preach and live the gospel as it sees fit. I don't question that. <BR/><BR/>We feel so separated from the church's message, that it feels best to go where they proverbially speak our language. Serving, respect for all, peacemaking, spiritual growth. <BR/>----------<BR/>There, it's almost like a return to pre-reformation Christianity. The pastors tell us what the Bible says. Our job is to submit to the pastors' authority, provide as much financial support as possible, and be in community with church members. Period. Individual thought from outside the staff is neither encouraged, nor respected. <BR/>---------------<BR/>I really do hear your points, however.<BR/><BR/>As far as the "dating" analogy, we jumped in and joined our church of the past four years too quickly. We committed before we had a clear picture of the character/style of pastoral leadership and culture of the congregation. <BR/><BR/>If "dating" is too superficial of a word choice, please accept my apologies.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for your thoughtful comments.Deborah Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07681456264047358861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-1131988390345009232005-11-14T09:13:00.000-08:002005-11-14T09:13:00.000-08:00As someone who works on a church staff, I am griev...As someone who works on a church staff, I am grieved that your experience in so many churches has been so poor. My prayer is that you will be able to find true community and a home which Christ is calling you to serve in rather than just attend. I also read the book "A New Kind of Christian" and greatly appreciated it. What was interesting to me was that the lead character, Dan Poole, feels called to stay at his church and help them change. Sometimes we need to escape the consumeristic church mindset and commit despite the aparent flaws in any congregation. Do you really believe Jesus would "date" a church?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-1131917663959043372005-11-13T13:34:00.000-08:002005-11-13T13:34:00.000-08:00Thank you for helping me along on this topic. I li...Thank you for helping me along on this topic. <BR/>I linked to this article on my own blog now. It's worth being read.Yonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13834502517389366594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-1131914108138257762005-11-13T12:35:00.000-08:002005-11-13T12:35:00.000-08:00Thank you, Yon, for your encouraging word. And it'...Thank you, Yon, for your encouraging word. And it's great to know that you found it interesting. <BR/><BR/>The megachurch environment is, more and more, becoming similar to a business environment marketing a message. Rick Warren is the most apt symbol of that, which is now being called the "Christian Materialism" movement. (Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia, has a description of this fairly new movement.)Deborah Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07681456264047358861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-1131903145825263122005-11-13T09:32:00.000-08:002005-11-13T09:32:00.000-08:00I didn't think it was boring at all. Being a Germa...I didn't think it was boring at all. Being a German catholic, I'm not very familiar with those mega-churches, so it was quite interesting to read more about it. Don't let yourself be discouraged.Yonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13834502517389366594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-1131746003873596722005-11-11T13:53:00.000-08:002005-11-11T13:53:00.000-08:00Actually, I rarely expressed my opinions at church...Actually, I rarely expressed my opinions at church, and have no particular desire to be "heard." Its not the appropriate venue for any people to be airing their political views. We're all children of God...not just Republicans. <BR/><BR/>The first church just didn't have a style of worship, or atmosphere, that anyone in my family found joyful or uplifting. We did not find the Holy Spirit dwelling there. We have freedom of choice to worship God how and where we please. <BR/><BR/>This is boring to you, and may be to most readers. My desire was to express my thoughts, not necessarily to entertain you. <BR/><BR/>However, this is the experience of many Christians who no longer reguarly attend a particular church...and there are millions who fit into that category. Church attendance drops off annually in the US. <BR/><BR/>I recently read Brian McLaren's "A New Kind of Christian." I found that I am not alone in these thoughts....<BR/><BR/>(My apologies for boring you. It was not my intent. Thank you for dropping by and taking the time to write a comment. )Deborah Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07681456264047358861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5765150.post-1131742167297495142005-11-11T12:49:00.000-08:002005-11-11T12:49:00.000-08:00What a BORING piece. It is a tenacious ramble tha...What a BORING piece. It is a tenacious ramble that should be one paragraph. What does it really mean? Surely it is not just "My old church is dufunct with sinners that I dont like their looks."<BR/>Maybe you want your opinion embraced by the congregration more fully. Or is it the leaders of your church that "your opinion" is not being heard by.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com