Friday, September 07, 2007

Finding Daily Peace

Saw my doctor this week for a six-month blood pressure "check & chat," as I call my medical ritual for the past eight (or so) years.

The great news is that I lost almost ten pounds. Smart exercise, good eating habits, a change or two in my diet... finally, I seem to have found a healthy, middle-aged rhythm. And I feel good... am headed in the right direction.

BUT. My blood pressure was up again at way-too-high levels. Truth is, I'm not handling the busyness of life all that well. I'm stressed out with too much to do, too many self-expectations, and an overloaded family calendar.

And I must be honest... my family just doesn't get the blood pressure thing. They love me. Adore me. But Ron and Andrea are energized, even soothed, by rushing around. They both thrive on constant hustle and bustle. I don't. It stresses me out. It exhausts.

Ron and Andrea never, never remember to slow down to meet my needs for serenity. And they never will for very long. It's not in their natural temperaments.

I confess: I play the "You don't love me game." I accommodate their lives endlessly. Why can't I receive a bit of accommodation in return? My truth is that it DOES anger me. (Why, oh why, can't they be more like... well, me???)

As I write this, though, I realize I'm throwing one of those pity parties for myself over this. Clearly, I need to do a better job of meeting my own needs and reaching out to God to meet them. I can't control my family, and I certainly can change no one but myself.

So starting this week, I'm spending 20 to 30 minutes each weekday morning in meditation... deep-breathing, clearing my mind, feeling my tensed body relax, savoring silence. Just me and God.

And I'm starting to feel more Peace.

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