Coming Out of the Closet, Election-Year Style

I came out of the closet last night to a friend. She was shocked and not quite sure how to react. She asked me though, and I answered honestly. I thought I should take the occasion to also come clean with you.

So here it is.....I am so disgusted by the destructive policies of Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld; so shocked by Bush hypocrisies, outright lies and bully tactics in so many areas; so deeply afraid of his ultra-extreme fiscal irresponsibility; so repelled by his total lack of heart for any but the wealthiest; and especially saddened by his successful use of Christianity to foster fearmongering, that I, a lifelong moderate Republican, who has always voted Republican for President, re-registered as a Democrat in 2004.

I will write in detail of my, and others, metamorphosis at my other blog, Heart Soul & Humor. It's fascinating, though, how many Republicans have switched party allegiances, albeit in stealth. In today's New York Times, there is a full-page ad featuring 9 citizens who voted Republican in 2000, but who won't vote for Bush in 2004.... a grade school teacher, an attorney, 2 Marine Corp Iraq War veterans, a former Ambassador to Israel under George Bush, a stay-at-home mother of 8, a business man, a retired USMC colonel from Vietnam.I am one of them.

The surprising part of coming out is the reactions. (This was not my first political coming out.) Disbelief. (Are you really???) Shock. Disillusionment, like I've lost my mind and can no longer be trusted. Sadness, like I've dropped out of the local exclusive country club and won't be in the all-white clubhouse anymore.

I have to confess....this is the most fun, most creatively energizing, thing I've done in a while.

Seeing the world from a new perspective. Thinking new thoughts. Feeling passion again for our great country. Rereading Jefferson, Madison, Paine and Lincoln, and understanding their ideas anew. Appreciating the freedoms and liberties of democracy. (Our forefathers were geniuses, guided by God.)

And possibly reopening the eyes and hearts of good people....at least by example and written word.

1985 Redeux

Andrea and I are doing intense end-of-the-summer cleaning. Her room is anything but school-ready, and I thought I'd set a good example and also clean.

We sorted (and giggled) through a box of old family photos...pumpkin-carving and silly Halloween costumes, a thousand pics of virtually the same 6 newborn baby shots, Christmas mornings, school pageants, birthday parties, family pets. Long-misplaced pictures of our wedding. The stuff of our lives.

After she went back to her bedroom, I found another photo. A group photo from a professional class I taught in Chicago in 1985, 2 years before I met Ron, 2 years after my divorce. As I perused the faces...trying to remember the occasion.....I saw him. Him. Him.

My passionate brief summer romance. My foolish between-marriages fling. My reawakening to feelings after an awful, hurtful divorce. I was 33....he was 21. Yup. 21. A tall (6' 2") blonde Texan with the sweetest smile a girl ever saw. And oozing modest charm with his deep Texas drawl and his cowboy style. (He even wore boots.) I was ripe for his come-on. And oh my.... the chemistry.

It didn't last long...we both had to return home. He tried to keep the flame going, but I had the maturity to know that ours was a finite romance. He gave up trying to contact me. He looked me up once at home about a year later, but it was awkward. Of course, we were strangers.

I had forgotten him until I saw the photo, him in the 4th row, me in the 2nd row, everyone dressed in business suits. I know I'm supposed to regret a spontaneous, momentary rendezvous. It defied everything parents and church taught me. I shudder now at the risks. But I don't regret it.

It was a formative event on my journey to wholeness...on my journey to Ron and our life together. And I can't help but smile at the wonderful, warm romantic memory.....

Wide Awake in Albuquerque

In case you're hankering for a quick cup of gourmet joe....

Albuquerque has more gourmet-style coffee shops per capita (the ratio of coffee shops to population) than any other US city, including second-place Seattle, home of Starbucks, according to the Speciality Coffee Assn. The top ten cities for coffee shops per capita are Albuquerque, Seattle, Portland (Oregon), Anchorage, Minneapolis, San Francisco, Cleveland, St. Paul, Sacramento and Pittsburgh.

I knew I liked Albuquerque.

Amateur Gourmet 2004 Survivor Challenge

Have thrown my hat into the competitive ring for the Amateur Gourmet 2004 Survivor Challenge, created by gourmet blogger Adam, the Amateur Gourmet. It's a Survivor-esque weekly cooking challenge with possible occasional Fear Factor-like eating challenges, all documented digitally and uploaded to his blog. Participants will vote someone out of the contest weekly by trashing competitors in private emails to Adam.

The sole gourmet survivor left standing at the end will receive a gift from a corporate sponsor....when he finds a corporate sponsor. Or maybe a fruit-of-the month club membership.

This wacky, clever idea sounds like lots of fun for foodies. And Adam must be one smart guy.....he knows how to create cyber-buzz, and at almost no cost to him. I'd tip my hat to Adam, but it's in his contest ring.

A Refreshing Role Model for Young Girls

One of Andrea's role models is a pretty 30 year old woman, a wife and mother, who lives in Chino Hills, maybe 15 miles from our home. Her favorite book is the Bible, and if she could have dinner with any 3 people, they would be Jesus, Billy Graham and the President of the United States. Her favorite colors are red, white and blue. Her dream job is to be a Christian motivational speaker.

Andrea admires her so much, she keeps a picture on her bedroom wall of Leah Amico. An autographed picture. You see, Leah Amico plays softball. She plays it very well. So well, that a few minutes ago, she won her third Olympic gold medal.

Mrs. Amico and her husband promote the sport of girls' softball by attending local opening ceremonies and special events, meeting and chatting with the girls, signing autographs and posing for photos with the young players, gold medals around her neck. She lets them touch, hold, even wear her Olympic medals. (And parents, too!)

She exhorts the girls to work hard, be persistent, and to be an unselfish team player. This star college pitcher recounts how, if she hadn't set aside prideful feelings when offered an outfield position on the 1996 USA team, she'd never have been an Olympic player. She's now team USA's top first basewoman.

This three-time Olympian, three-time college softball All-American, and three-time academic All-American says it's all about balance, "Keeping God first, family second and softball/career third."

In this era of over-drugged, self-worshipping athletes, Leah Amico is a refreshing and inspiring role model for all girls and for all of us.

The Real Elements of a Successful Marriage

A successful marriage .... one that lasts and is content, one with frequent moments of joy and laughter, one that produces good fruit, one based in good will .... takes a lot. Ron and I both feel we have a successful marriage.

I watched him as he trudged out to the car a few minutes ago to run family errands. He's tired as it's Saturday morning and he had a tension-filled week at work. I had my usual over-busy week too, never quite finishing my "to do" list, perpetually haunted by the vague ghost of undone necessities.

To have a successful marriage, it takes a lot .... faith in each other and God, trust (in capital letters), affection for each other's quirks and idiosyncrasies, sex (enough said .... I should dare to write on sex someday), shared life goals, same taste in tolerable pets, genuine friendship, separate bathrooms if possible, persistence beyond all reason, and non-negotiable bedtimes for children.

And a common sports team to cheer for together. Go Angels!

Our Electronic, Thrill-Seeking Existence

Life feels so ordinary sometimes. We wonder.....is this all there is? We look for the large moment...the defining event....sweet victory set to metaphorical applause. Like in the movies. Our hours of triumph seem oddly fleeting. Our hours of defeat feel too frequent.

Sports events give us the vicarious pleasure of dramatic winning and losing. Our emotions ricochet in a pleasing cycle of despair and exuberance, all while munching snacks, until the big game culminates in a clear, neatly summarized ending. Winners and losers. And we look at our calendar for the next event....the next chance to feel, the next chance to win.

TV sitcoms help us laugh at ourselves and our predicaments. Crime dramas incorporate us into daily newpaper headlines. We're there...we partcipate in the gruesome excitement. Soaps operas bring romance and gorgeous people into our homes. Reality TV gives us the thrill of risk-taking without taking real risk. Game shows cause us to glimpse sudden, effortless riches. Foodies experience gourmet cooking on FoodTV, and then go out to dinner. Armchair travellers visit Europe and Africa in a night, and go to bed sated by electronic wanderlust. My mother watches dog shows, and then feels better about no longer having pets. She's filled her quality dog-time quota. I watch Martha Stewart daily, and dream of being perfect.

Our electronic existence has supplanted authentic experience and person-to-person interaction. And thrill-seeking entertainment is sought out so that we can feel again. I knew a man who gambled heavily and frequently in Las Vegas, because he was exhilirated by the risk. I know a couple who tried to save their marriage by talking via email, instead of in person. I know kids who spend their summer skipping from Xcelerator coaster (82 mph in 2.3 seconds) to Superman: The Escape (climbs 415 feet, reaches 100 mph) to Supreme Scream (drop 254 feet straight down) and more, because reading and being home are too boring.

There has been a recent spate of "reality" shows in which families live back in time, to 1900 rural America or Colonial American times, to experience the novelty of life before the internet and video games, before malls and WalMart, before televison, cell phones and even radio. Before Las Vegas and Disneyland and hourly flights to Honolulu. Before MLB, the NBA and the NFL.

They get to know each other. They work hard. (They lose weight!) They eat meals together. They laugh together and they cry together. They seem to hug a lot.

I'm not advocating that we take a giant step back in time. Our modern conveniences and devices are true miracles. It's our use of them that causes the problems. They're just stuff. Over-reliance on them causes us to lose intimacy with others. Addiction to thrills numbs us to the pleasures of everyday life. Life feels flat and incomplete without them.

I know a family that has no televisions at all, but their teenage son has green hair and took a recent, exquisitely inappropriate moment to come out of the closet. He manufactures his own excitement. So much for preserving innocence by eliminating the small screen.

We need to get our priorities straight, though. We need to turn off the TV, walk away from the keyboard, put down the Gameboy, and spend time with our loved ones. Not ballpark or movie theater time. Real time, where we can talk and be heard, laugh and look each other in the eye. Much of our time, not a budgeted hour here and there. Every week. Every day.

Life again can then be joyful, intimate and satisfying, as God intended it.