Ultimate Backhanded Teenage Compliment

My high school senior received the ultimate backhanded compliment from a classmate this week in response to a glowing article about my daughter's academic feats in the local newspaper:

"My mother really thinks you're amazing."

Mother's Day Confession

My youngest (pictured left, dressed for her senior prom this evening) plans to take me out to lunch after church tomorrow to celebrate Mother's Day. She will also give me a thoughtfully chosen gift.

She would give me the world if she could, and if I asked for it.

My oldest, my 32 year old daughter, and her husband would also give me the world... or almost, anyway. Her life is busy, and I understand that. And she lives 1,000 miles away.

We have a terrific relationship. We talk, email and text all the time. We share similar temperaments and outlooks in many respects. So when I called her last Wednesday to not-so-subtly ask if she needed a Mother's Day gift suggestion, she was thrilled (and probably relieved, truth be known.). She promptly ordered for me that sage-green, leather-trimmed summer purse at J.Crew I have my eye on.

My 30 year old son is busy beyond all reasonableness. A husband, father to two very young (and adorable!) children, a man who works long and hard to make ends meet for his young family... he loves me deeply. I know that. He' ll be busy, though, honoring his wife. And on Mother's Day, she is always swept up in honoring her adoptive mother, who is two decades older than me.

I understand. I really understand... even though they live only ten miles away.

My 25 year old stepson, who I've known and loved for 21 years, will be honoring his mother tomorrow. They both live in Huntington Beach, just a couple miles from each other. And she has always been devoted to him.

I understand. I really understand that, no matter how kind or thoughtful or caring, stepmothers are forgotten on Mother's Day when mothers are fully present. I would have it no other way.

But, although I understand. I really understand, and I love our sons with all my heart... I have to confess: I THANK GOD every single darned day for my daughters!

Because they get it.

Mine that Bird Gives Hope to Longshots

Mine That Bird (pictured at left), a 50-to-1 longshot, won the Kentucky Derby two days ago.... the second longest of longshots to win in Derby history.

In fact, this delightfully bargain-basement horse, purchased by his owner for a mere $9,500, won the Derby convincingly by several lengths. And at the finsh, Mine That Bird was still widening the gap.

Sports Editor Phil Simms wrote at The Online Wire two days before the 2009 Derby:

"Mine That Bird needs to run a perfect race to beat the favored Kentucky Derby contenders thus his odds are worthy if you look for a huge payout.

Currently this horse is listed amongst the 4 biggest underdogs out of the 2009 Kentucky Derby odds at 50/1 and really deserves to be the biggest underdog considering how slow he’s ran in recent races."

Here's to you, Mine That Bird, from all of us who've been counted out, disregarded, or demeaned as slow, an underdog, unworthy...

Your victory lifts our spirits. You give us hope they we, too, can beat the odds... prove the critics and cynics wrong.... and leave the crowd cheering for more.

Tupac Is the New Elvis

Yet another sign that the boomer generation's reign as trend leader and opinion maker has expired: Tupac Shakur sightings.

Tupac, of course, was the 25-year-old photogenic, talented rapper/poet who was gunned down in his prime in Las Vegas on September 7, 1996. He lingered for six days before indisputably dying of cardiac arrest and respiratory failure.

Used to be Elvis sightings. But rare, now, is the under-50 music aficionado who mourns the lost potential of the "King of Rock 'n Roll," who died at age 42 in (believe it or not) 1977. Thirty-two long years ago!

Hard to imagine that many boomers have even heard of Tupac...

The Craigslist Killer and Men with Secret Lives

Megan McAllister, fiance of the alleged Craigslist killer, Philip Markoff, is a lucky woman today. The stars of good fortune are shining on her.

She doesn't feel gratitude yet, though. Probably still rues it as the worst day of her life when her beloved ("a beautiful man inside and out... He would not hurt a fly!") was wrongly accused and arrested in a terrible case of mistaken identity.

Of course, Megan could be proven correct. But the circumstantial evidence is extremely strong: emails traced to his IP address, security cameras and cell phone pings placing him at several of the crimes, corroborating evidence at his apartment.

At minimum, Philip has been leading a dangerous double life... one living up to everyone's expectations of a perfect guy ("He is intelligent, loyal, and the best fiance a woman could ask for.); the other, a cold, hostile misogynist who thrives on the angry acts of a powerless little boy.

I know. I've known two such men: my ex-husband and a young pastor.

Similar to Philip, both led double lives:

• one life as the perfect guy, loved by his wife, adored by his children, admired by the world as a golden boy-man, beaming with promise and good looks, intelligence and charm.


• a second, secret life crammed with repeated rebellions tailored to shock and hurt the people who love them.

These men break the hearts of the people who love them... people who never truly grasp the reasons for the golden man's painful, often heinous, betrayal.

Harsh reality reveals that we never really knew these men, Megan. Reality reveals that they craved an audience who believed in their goodness, but these men are incapable of returning mature love. Or of truth.

Move on, Megan. For your sake, forgive Philip, release your pain, and move on. Chalk your romance up to a close-call and a cautionary lesson well-learned.

You don't realize it yet, but this is the best day of your young life. Trust me on this.

(Photo of fiances Philip Markoff and Megan McAllister in happier times.)

Adam Lambert: David Bowie with Fantastic Singing Skills

I'm crazy about Adam Lambert, the front-runner to win this season's American Idol competition. I'm crazy about his music, his persona, his theatricality, and especially about his joyously spontaneous creativity.

Adam Lambert will be a big, big star, most likely in musical theater, but his appeal won't be limited to, or even include many, young, edgy music aficionados. Here's why...

He's a joyously Disney-fied version of glammed-up punk rock. He's David Bowie, but with fantastic singing skills. He's Elton John, but with style and fashion sense. He's Elvis but without the snarl and the fried peanut butter sandwiches.

He's a mannered young man with a choir boy's face from middle-class San Diego suburbs. He's the son, the nephew, the brother, who had talent too out-sized for desk-bound college study and proclivities too exotic for his confused, loving family.

He's the wanderer who arrives home for Thanksgiving with a black shock of hair, two new tattoos, Revlon eyeshadow, and armed with pumpkin pie and sweet hugs for all.

What I find refreshing about Adam Lambert is his openness and comfort with his identity. He's part of the new generation of young gay man who lack an angry chip on their shoulder and a desperate need to taunt with their sexuality.

Indeed, his 21st-century androgynous charisma is blend of the new and the moderately old, but his creative vibrancy as a musical performer is an American tradition that dates back to vaudeville.

Adam Lambert as the lead in "Jesus Christ, Superstar," anyone?

Dust-Catcher and Recumbent: A Tale of Two Bikes

This my new gym-caliber recumbent bike, a Schwinn 230.

I bought it to replace my 30-year-old dust-catcher of a stationary bike which I purchased from Sears to drop weight after my first child... now 32 years old... was born.

I rode Dust-Catcher about 600 miles a year since 2003, so I did see use it... but turns out it was half-broken. And half-effective.

A couple months ago, to avoid eventual knee surgery, I embarked on a physical therapy regimen, and it's not been easy. But WOW...I feel better. Exercise has already made a huge difference in my health, and I'm just getting started.

My new recumbent bike is professional caliber... more so than I imagined, since I bought it via Amazon. I've been using it for two weeks, and have discovered that it's light years more effective... and tougher... than Dust-Catcher.

Gleaming, sturdy, computerized... Recumbent challenges me. Stares at me. Sometimes overwhelms me.Occasionally frustrates me. Frequently wears me out.

But Recumbent will never defeat me. Instead, I will work my way up to 30 minutes daily.

I refuse to be defeated.

Or to succumb to knee, or perhaps hip, surgery until doctors believe there is no better way. And that may be never, given that I'm motivated.